True Confessions

In Chapter 6, "Diction," Trimble exhorts writers to pay attention to several qualities of word choice. Which advice felt familiar (or perhaps necessary) for you to apply to your own writing?

In this chapter about diction, Trimble offers three specific pieces of advice regarding conciseness, vigorous verbs, and freshness. The section about "vigorous verbs" mostly discussed the use of active and passive voices. Trimble asserted that the active voice should always be used in writing. I completely agree with this statement, as it is one that teachers have drilled into my head. When I write, I find it useful to use the active voice, and it has become a habit, though I do catch myself in the passive voice a lot.
In reflecting over this chapter, I do find one major area with which I struggle, conciseness. So often, I find myself writing extremely flowery, embellished, and long sentences. Even this past sentence could have easily been said in half as many words: Often, I find myself creating lengthy and embellished sentences (3  words less, and could probably be shortened even more!). It has been pounded into my being to write in order to reach a certain "length goal." This reinforces the habit of creating too many words with not enough substance, a quirk in my writing that needs to be corrected.

"Closers" Prezi

Prezi About Concluding a Piece of Writing
http://prezi.com/qlgcbhnc-zrp/closers/

You've Been Flash Mobbed

How many times do you check your cell phone every day? The number is probably close to forty, if not more. According to a survey by the Kaiser Family Foundation, American youth between the ages of 8 and 18 spent about seven and a half hours every day using this sort of technology. That is nearly half of the time spent awake. Now, imagine you misplaced your phone or you had no service. Chances are, you would feel naked, lost, and potentially foolish.

AT&T likes to think so. In a recent commercial, they place numerous people in a bustling train station. As the clock strikes 12, a single man rips off his trench coat and begins to dance.  He continues on alone for several seconds until the scene becomes almost awkward. We then realize, as his phone finally gets a new message, that the flash mob in which he was supposed to participate was moved back an entire half hour.

In this commercial AT&T suggests that with their service and products, you will never be the last to know. This poses an interesting question: Are we too obsessed with our phones that we embarrass and humiliate ourselves without them? Are we too reliant on them in the first place? Without our phones, or even with limited service, we feel completely and utterly hopeless and lost. Nonetheless, in AT&T's mind, we, as a society, need to ensure that these seven and a half hours spent glued to out smart phones are hours spent with superior service or we face the consequences of public humiliation in highly-trafficked train stations. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd8ppk0UCx8

Old-Worldly Metropolis

Imagine the most unlikely pairing you could think of. Perhaps unicorns and thunderstorms or sunshine and death came into your mind. But not mine. I of course, thought of Hansel and Gretel and a big American city. Apparently, AT&T had the same thought. In a recent commercial, they threw the old-worldly pair into a huge metropolitan community. As one could probably guess, they stroll through the streets dropping breadcrumbs so as to find their way back. The problem is that all the crumbs seem to disappear as birds and sewage drains eat them. It is only when they run out of bread that they realize the gravity of their situation. Do not fret, for Gretel is in the possession of an AT&T smart phone with a navigation system to lead them back to the cottage.

Many things in this commercial are a bit unsettling. For starters, these two small children have a cell phone. Not only that, but they are alone in a city that seems strange and new to them. What parent allows their young children to roam around urban America without guidance? Perhaps, though, that is the purpose of the advertisement. Thanks to modern navigational technology, mothers everywhere can feel safe allowing their kids to wander around and find their way back, even if they do lose all of their breadcrumbs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_iWajvrZns

Chel White: A Painful Glimpse into My Writing Process

What is your writing process like?

According to Chel White, writing is a painful, suicidal, and agonizing process that causes binge eating and hyperactivity. I do not necessarily agree with this. Writing, as with most things in life, requires thought. Otherwise, it would be meaningless, and no one would care. I do believe that there are times in which the formulation of an idea creates anxiety. However, I think it is a problem if that anxiety causes you to drive your car into a lake. For me, the writing itself is a fairly painless process. It is the creation of a new and innovative idea that is the worst. Many times, the idea is spoon-fed to you on a plate, but even then, making that your own can be difficult. Once an idea is planted firmly, the words typically flow out of my fingers and onto the page. Once the piece is drafted, the revision process is almost fun - trying to make the words flow as smoothly as possible.

Questions about AT&T Commercial

1. Why are the children dressed so strangely?
2. What is the purpose of throwing breadcrumbs?
3. What does it mean for them if all the breadcrumbs disappear?
4. Who are the children supposed to represent?
5. Who is the target market? Mothers, perhaps?
6. Why are the children alone in the city?
7. Who are these children?
8. Why is the music so happy if the children are supposed to represent Hansel and Gretel, a fairly gruesome fairy tale?
9. Why do these little children have a cell phone?
10. What is the effect of the contrast between the old-fashion clothing and persona of the children and the new-age, modern city?
11. What is there no dialogue?
12. What is the role of bread in old-world cultures?

Exercise in Creating Verbs

10 Things that Baseball Players Do


1. Run
2. Hit the Ball
3. Throw
4. Get Paid
5. Sweat
6. Slide
7. Practice
8. Eat
9. Sleep
10. Endorse Companies

Questions about Heineken Commercial

1. Why does it only target men?

2. Why are the guests as excited as the owners?

3. What does it mean if this is a housewarming party and the space is new?

4. Why does it portray women screaming over clothing?

5. Why are men the only ones who like beer? - Why aren't the women screaming for Heineken?

6. Why are the people, especially the women, portrayed so materialistically?

7. Is it intended to be literal?

8. Why can't men be excited over clothes?

9. Why do we look at the genders as separate?

10. Who is the target audience of the commercial?
11. What station is playing the commercial and what is their audience?

12. What does the Heineken commercial say about men and women?

Dreaming of Beer

What is more exciting for a woman than a walk-in closet full of clothes? Probably not much. Well consider the equivalent for a man, a walk-in fridge filled with beer. Heineken likes to believe that this is the case. They even go as far as to create an entire commercial around the topic.

The advertisement begins with presumably wealthy women touring a new living space, eventually ending in a spacious walk-in closet. Over their squeals of excitement, roaring male voices are heard. Soon enough, we learn that this enthusiasm is from nothing other than a beer-filled closet. It is obvious that their thrill is far greater than the women's over the clothes. This brings the very interesting topic of dreams to the forefront. Through this advertisement, Heineken suggests that man's ultimate wish is to have a closet full of beer, as it is a woman's wish to obtain a multitude of material possessions in the form of clothing and jewelry. Notice, also, that when the two closets are flaunted to the guests, the guests appear to be equally as excited as the space's owners. Perhaps this also has to do with the idea of wish fulfillment. Are the guests excited for the closets' inhabitants, or are they dreaming of what could be for themselves. Regardless, this promotion of beer suggests that throughout the western world, men and women are obsessed with the idea of having closets chock-full of material possessions and constantly dream of luxury.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIutgtzwhAc

Pachelbel and Shampoo

A soaring violin line is interrupted by a blaring car horn and seemingly violent yelling in another language. The familiar music begins again - it is no other than Pachelbel's Canon in D. As the scene progresses, the canon becomes a triumphant and joyous song of empowerment and courage. 

What is this you ask? None other than a shampoo commercial following a deaf girl and her struggle to be something, perhaps a musician. Throughout the advertisement, this small girl is bullied, regardless of if it is because she cannot hear or because she is different, it crushes and frustrates her. The story proceeds to a classical music concert and contest. As the emcee announces the entrance of a new participant, the small, and deaf nonetheless, girl walks onto the stage, and there is silence. This courageous girl begins to play and we are transported to a place where she feels free, a place where her deafness does not debilitate her musicianship, a place where her beautiful hair flows freely like a field of wheat. For a moment, there is silence. Silence among the crowd as this girl who is unable to hear, tries to play the violin. After a moment of astonishment, the crowd begins to applaud, perhaps in response to her courageousness. The music beings again, and it grows and flourishes to bring the story to an end with the success of the girl and her triumph over her difficulty, thanks to her gorgeous hair.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VC9PsJb6S_s&feature=fvsr

Focus Free-Write (9/12) - Five Minutes

John Trimble makes the case that all writers are like warriors, defending claims and fortifying arguments. How do you respond to this trope, this figurative turn?

I agree with this statement. I think that is what writing is all about. It would be pointless and all together a waste of time to simply write opinions or thoughts without backing them up and defending them. Writing without regards to argument is in essence, lifeless. It has no strength and no spine holding it up. All good, substantial writing is based upon defending claims and fortifying arguments. If it wasn't, the piece of work would simply be a retelling of a story or event without anything to think about. After all, the best writing is the kind that makes you think while you are reading. Wouldn't you rather read something full of life than something weak and flimsy.

the start of a new beginning

So here I am at Hofstra, and I am blogging. Writing online makes me feel a number of things. I feel anxious and nervous to be blogging for the first time. It is nerve-racking to know that I will be showcasing my writing to everyone owning a computer, rather than just to my professors, family, and friends. This first post is considered to be free-writing - writing constantly for 12 minutes, whatever comes to mind - without ever looking back and without revision. This is also a stressful thought. So many things come to mind. What do I say? How can I organize my thoughts without rambling or changing topic too quickly? What can I talk about that would have some impact on anyone? 


I think this concept of blogging is quite interesting. If you think about it, someone in China or in India or Brazil could read what I, a college freshman, am writing. But that also makes me wonder, do people in China and India and Brazil actually care what an American teenager has to say? Maybe that is the beauty of blogs and of the internet. It is a way for literally anyone, be it a student or a scholar, to get a message out into the world. It is a way of communicating with more than just the people that we see every day. It is a way of realizing that human beings are really not as different as we could imagine. The internet connects people who would other wise be oceans away.


Well, 12 minutes have passed and my first post is complete. I hope you enjoy what I write as I experiment and explore writing these next few months.